Commentaries

 

Free of the trees
     the Great Blue unfolds his wings
          over the pond.

M.F.

Here the lines are used expertly to suggest the unfolding of the wings. The word “Great” is the beginning of that sequence. “Blue” blends with the sky, so the sense of the “horizon” is there. “Over the pond” is so small by comparison ! I’m sure that is part of the image. The relativity in this has to do with the pond being much bigger than the heron, but not from the haiku’s point of view. --T.D’E.

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Billowy clouds--
     on the dark waves
          flecks of foam.

T.D’E.

In the free wandering tradition, this captures the contrast between the airy clouds in their billowy state -- one of complete assurance -- and the waves which are dark only able to yield "flecks of foam" that are the result of their tossing and yet visually, they represent some kind of connection with the clouds. There is also a painterly feeling to this haiku, a foreground/background emphasis with the artist's brush having the say-so in "flecks", the final touch or spontaneous gesture. --M.F.